..me and my world..

td mlm mli lagi fase nangis2 darah tgh mlm ny,. mli krasa lg kehilangan ny,. nelpon orng ny gk d angkat,. akhirny nelpon edo [adk saia.], i know,. i sound like a drama queen,. tp saia memang se cengeng itu,. masi susah aj nrima knyataan he's gone. no more gudnite calls,. no more this,. no more that,. oh my,. lgpl 24 jam aj blum,.
abis telpon2an ma adk,. d suruh nyerah aj ma dy,. lepasin aj,. he said he loves me no more anyway,. ak bs ngarep apa lg,. tp ttp nrima knyataan itu susah bgt,.
bgun pagi2, mata bengkak, ngliad hp >> no sms no missed call [bhkn dy gk nyoba bwt nny knp nelpon dy sejuta kali td mlm..] lalu brjanji bwt ngakhirin ni smua, brniat bwt brubah,. mu mli nrima kenyataan,.
nyoba aj ngejauhin pikiran dr dy,. useless,.


akhirny gk tahan lg,. :( sms dy, nny kmi masi ada kemungkinan balikan lg gk?
and he said : dy cm lg pgn sndiri skrg. gk mw ada beban pikiran.
...........
..........
itu penolakan secara halus bkn?
ungkapan "yeah, actually.. i dont love you anymore. plis understand."

nyesal bgt nny itu,. hasilny begini kan. ngrasa teramat sangad gk brarti.
Oh God,. down bgt,.







Oh my,. this broke up thing happened so fast,. gmn bs ak fine with dis??? 2 days ago i still found my life was so wonderfull,. so perfect,. so complete,. dan ak rasa bkl bgtu ampe seterusny. bhkn ak ngrasa i will NEVER listen to broken heart songs ever again,. ak malah kasian ma smua org yg patah hati,. ak ngrasa thnkfull bgt pny hidup kyk gni,. ak uda ngrasa cukup,. [ak ampe nge posting tntg how wonderfull my life is now] ak ngrasa soo hepi,. ntahlah,. tiba2 dlm itungan jam,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,. O V E R.
ak bhkn blum smpt siapin diri,. tanpa aba2,. he said its O V E R.

and den someone said 2 me, Allah itu bs ngubah prasaan manusia semudah ngebolak balik telapak tangan.
trus knp tuhan gk mau balikin telapak tgn Ny lagi bwt bkin dy syg ak lagi? setelah sblumny tuhan dgn mudahny balikin telapak tangan Ny ngebikin smua syg ny dy ilang k ak.. kenapaaaaa?????
hufh.
cape dgerin omongan org.

today :
i finally got my S.Ked [thnk God.]

and... i broke up with him...........................................................................................
few hours ago..
and its.. yes. official,.
without any chances dat we can reconcile again...
he simply told me dat he just loves me no more..




i'm not sure i can b just fine 4 the next few [many] days..
dis is sumting..
and he is someone..

i'm just..
i'm really not okay rite now..
really..






i cried him a river already.. and it just wont stop.. its just soo hard..
yeah i know its not the first time i have to deal with dis kind of thing.. but still...............
God, i screw up sooooo bad dis time.........................................................................

i hope dis is just a nightmare..
i'll wake up,. and everything's going 2 b fine..
he still loves me and we're still a couple like we used 2 be..
dis is just a nightmare..
pliis somebody wake me up....
pliiiiiiiisss...............

td iseng2 buka google,. masukin nama si papah.
~~ ini smua krn crita ryan td siang yg nyari nm mama ny d google n he found many link's bout his mum.. jd krn penasaran,. td saia coba jg,.

i enter my dad's name..
debar2 juga nunggu ny heheheeee




ternyataaaaaaa.........................................




i found 3 links bout my dad..
heheheeeeee :D

and dat 3 links r bout his profile as surgeon,.
which made me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo proud with him,. :)
ah lebaayy heheheee
but yeaaah.. nyenengin aj fakta i can find sumting bout my dad in google :P





oia,. td nyoba masukin nama saia jg d google,.








tp no result hahahahaaaaa :D





nyoba lg masukin yg kiky amalia nurshal,.
(maju terus pantang mundur.hahahha.)
RESULT :
many links,. but its all bout fesbuk,.
poor me,. heheee :(






hey,. try yours,.. :)

Do you wanna know the KEY to make L D R [Long Distance Relationship] work???
[based on my own experience.]
~~ caelah, kyk expert ngomong :P









LOVE???
~~ no,. no,. bukaaan cintaaaaaa..

TRUST???
~~ big no,. no,. no,. bukaaaan jugaaaaa..

FAITH???
~~ NOPE.



any idea????





it is..
INTERNET.
:D
~~ yg OL 24 jam kecuali pas tdur.
[yap. me and my Man agree with dis :) truuuuust meeeee!! ]


hehheeeee :P

skrg uda ngrasain sumpek bgt.. tp blajarny blon selesai2.. masi bnyk ajah.. pgn bgt liburan.. mainmain.. bgun, mandi, mkn, tdur lg tanpa beban.. [scara skrg rutinitas saia : bgun tdur > blajar. abis makan > blajar. abis mandi > blajar. tiada harii tanpa megang tuh bahan. Eneg sumpah!!] pgn bgt ngrasain bebas, plong.. got nothing 2 worry bout.. tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii jalan hidup ny brkata lain [beuuh! bahasany haahaa] ada kompree ini sbntar lagiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. [PLUS OSCE jugaaaaa. profesooooor tunggu saia d ruangaaaan. uuuh. T.T]
awal ny siiy nyanteenyantee ajaaaa.. klu gk lulus kn masi ada kompre [n OSCE] yg slanjutny, scara yg ngulang blok n yg blon yudisium jg bnyaaaaak bgt.. tp makin dkt gni, makin nglied prsiapan tmn2 yg lain.. kok malah jd tmbh down yaaa? ngrasa paling gk siap, paling goblok, paling oon, dongdong, tolol.. yah, uda jatuh mentalny.. hufhh.. takuut bgt gk lulus, cm bs pasrah, [tp gk mau pasrah], gk mau bkin org2 yg care ma ak kecewa,. pgn bgt bkin papa mama adek2, pacar, bestfrens bangga [skaligus biar mreka bs nyombongin ank gadisny, kakak trsayang, pacar tercinta, bestfrenny k org2. biaar duniaaaa tahuuu. wkwkwkk. g deeeeng :P]
yaaaah.. pgn jg ini smua brakhir,. smua stres ny,. smua pressure ny.. gk sanggup lagii y Allah.. smoga LULUS. AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.
T.T















eniwei, bner bgt siy pacar.. ksalahan ak slama ini adalah >> cm MENGHAPAL. bkn PAHAM. dan ak gk prnh mw nyari tw kenapa gtu, knapa gni.
kmrn mlm d tny2 pacar tntg yg lg ak plajarin n ak jwb ny pake muteeer otaak lama bgt. ampe akhirny si pacar ngomong gtu :( nyesaaaal bgt slama ini cm ngapalin slide kuliah aj, gk prnh nyisain bnyk waktu bwt buka2 buku, sibuk gk jelaaas aj. huufh. nyesal slalu dtg blakangan.

memang siih suda basi bgt bkin gnian,. hrs ny dr kmrn2 wkt lg sering2ny d tag ma org2,.
tp kmrn2 gk sgtu kurang krjaanny ampe bkin gnian,. heheee

y suuuwww mulaai aaahhh..

1. i love my life noow... with my family, my man, my bestfren.. :) and i really mean it..
coz i had a *damn* bad past and at dat time i think i'm not going 2 b able 2 move on 2 a nu life but i did,. :)

2. Sbnrny gk pgn jd dokter. Dlu pgn ny kuliah psikologi aj ato HI. kan cita2 dr kecil cm 1 "KELILING DUNIA" hahahaaa >> suka d ketawain laura :P tp krn si papa mintany jd dokter
(LUVDADDY) trus d iming2in klu jd dokter bs kluar negri ikut seminar.. den i SAID YES hahahaaa :D

3. HATE STRANGERS. yap! i DUN like strangers. ak jg gk prnh nge add strangers in frenster fesbuk bla bla bla,. walooooo tampang ny secakep apa puuuuuun... >> si pacar gk prcaya ini :P klu ada yg nge add y d app, tp trus klu d samperin d chat, y ak cuekin,. hahaahaa yeah, i dun like stranger. the first and the last time ak ramah2 ma stranger jg oktober kmrn d YM,. dan trnyata i already knew him in high school,. and he's my boy friend now,. hehehehee thnk God he's not a serial killer :P

4. i'm bad at remembering streets and numbers.

5. AKU = CENGENG. yaaaap!!! T.T

6. Wkt smp,. jaman2ny boyband. cinta matiiii sama the moffatts. hahahaa. norak.

7. i HATE BEING IN NU PLACE NU SITUATION NU CONDITION, krn d dlm ny bnyk NU PEOPLE = STRANGERS. i sometimes dun like 2 socialize.. *ak uda trlalu nyaman ma tmn2 yg ak pny skrg. so i dont need the new one.* >> different with my boyfren,. i know.. :(

8. Phobia ma kecoak, org gila n badut. have bad memories wit dem all. X(

9. Takut sgala hal yg brbau mistik, hantu, dll. walo i can see dem..

10. tiap naik pesawat slalu ngrasa bkl kecelakaan n mati. huufh.

11. i hate vanilla milk. yuuck! :( >> kecuali uda jd es krim hehee

12. ak..uhmm..pndendam. susah bgt maapin slh org.huufh.pgn bgt brubah.

13. i LOVE TRAVELLING. my dad always take me 2 somewer new every year since i was little.

14. ak trauma ma angka 3 in relationship. Ntah knp tiap pacaran gk prnh lbh dr 3 bln. Klu uda mu dkt 3 bln,. i always freak out.. mikir2 niy bkl brakhir gk yaaa.. huufh.. ;((

15. oyeeaaaahh.. cinta ballooooonn.. palg yg bnyaaaakkkk... :)

16. heran bgt knp org2 suka nntn twilight. biasa aj tuh.

17. gk bs hidup tanpa hape. hahhaaa. klu dompet bs minjem uang. ampe bela2in plg lg krmh bwt ambil hp walo uda nympe kampus. :P

18. emosi ak labiiiiillll. jus dont mess with me if i'm not in a gud mud.

19. Ak klu marah merepet ny panjang. hahhaa. ini kata anak2. palg klu ak marahny barengan ryan. duet maut bgt dah. :D

20. i envy models with their skinny body.

21. i REALLY love writing :) dats y i have blog. Gk d bc jg gpp. heheee really.. i juz love 2 write down my feeling..

22. cintaaa hujaaan. LOVE 2 c the raindrops. uuhm,. ^ ^

23. love making frens with guys den girls. cewek tuw ribet, gk bs d andalin klu ada apa2. heheeee. tp skrg pacar saja suda cukuuuuup... ;)

24. i heart angelina jolie. no,. no,. i'm not a lesbian!!

25. Cm pgn hidup ku mudah k dpnny n jalanin ny dgn brsenang2. tp gk mgkin yaah?? hehee :P

uhm,. dats it..
huuufh,. cape jg yaaah.. :P

hahahhaaaaah *ktawa smbil nangis.* dasaar gobloook. hr ini ak dongdong lagiiii.. aaaaah oon bgdbgdbgd siiiih.. lagi2 ngulang2 slhnyaaa.. uhuuuuh. aaah. uuuuuuh. aduuuuuuuuuuuuh sayaaaaaaaaannng maafkaaanmaaafkaaaan pacarmuu ini lagilagi begituuuu huhuhuuuuw oon ny keseringaaan kumaaat.. gilaa yaaah heran knp ak bs kuliah d FK hahahahahahaa
sayaaaaaaaaaannggg.. maafkaaaaann...
jd gk bs bubuuuu....
huhuuuuuwwwwwwwwwww
*nangis mratapi kebodohan.*
bagaimaaaanaaa iniiiiii....